To the Lizard behind the tube-light
Dear Sir
This is with reference to yesterday’s incident. The incident involving the crashing tube-light, the throwing of a slipper and the broom that sheds more hair than me (after my bi-weekly hair wash routine). Firstly please accept my apologies. Yesterday’s incident was unfortunate and in my opinion uncalled for. The throwing of the slipper, especially, was a tad too dramatic if you ask me.
As you are aware, or may have gathered from yesterday’s meeting, I have the tendency to shrink back in horror every time I see you. Please do not take it personally, it has more to do with my inability to cope with my bodily spasms. These spasms or frantic sudden movements are triggered every time I see anything remotely close to a reptile. This handicap drives me into a screaming fit and I, in the past, have broken cutlery. It hasn’t escaped my notice that you hide behind the tube-light every time you see me. Clearly, we do not like the sight of each other. Seeing you makes my hair stand on end and seeing me makes your scales stand on end! You have me frightened my dear Lizard and I have you, against the wall as I can see.
It is, therefore, in our best interests that we take every possible step to avoid crossing/crawling past each other. I on my part, have sealed all visible gaps in the house and have shooed away every cockroach (your favourite snack) from my apartment. Needless to say, I have done my best to ensure temptation doesn’t get the better of you. And unless you spread Nutella over the pipes in the building, you won’t find me loitering in your territory. Let’s agree to part ways amicably.
Please find appended with this letter, an agreement with my aforementioned terms. Kindly crawl all over it and approve.
Yours, very frightened(ly)
Neha D
This is with reference to yesterday’s incident. The incident involving the crashing tube-light, the throwing of a slipper and the broom that sheds more hair than me (after my bi-weekly hair wash routine). Firstly please accept my apologies. Yesterday’s incident was unfortunate and in my opinion uncalled for. The throwing of the slipper, especially, was a tad too dramatic if you ask me.
As you are aware, or may have gathered from yesterday’s meeting, I have the tendency to shrink back in horror every time I see you. Please do not take it personally, it has more to do with my inability to cope with my bodily spasms. These spasms or frantic sudden movements are triggered every time I see anything remotely close to a reptile. This handicap drives me into a screaming fit and I, in the past, have broken cutlery. It hasn’t escaped my notice that you hide behind the tube-light every time you see me. Clearly, we do not like the sight of each other. Seeing you makes my hair stand on end and seeing me makes your scales stand on end! You have me frightened my dear Lizard and I have you, against the wall as I can see.
It is, therefore, in our best interests that we take every possible step to avoid crossing/crawling past each other. I on my part, have sealed all visible gaps in the house and have shooed away every cockroach (your favourite snack) from my apartment. Needless to say, I have done my best to ensure temptation doesn’t get the better of you. And unless you spread Nutella over the pipes in the building, you won’t find me loitering in your territory. Let’s agree to part ways amicably.
Please find appended with this letter, an agreement with my aforementioned terms. Kindly crawl all over it and approve.
Yours, very frightened(ly)
Neha D
ha ha ha 😂
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