The churchyard sweeper

When I received a phone call on the 25th of May,2010, I was expecting good news, but it hit me like a ton of bricks when my lawyer said to me from the other end of the line, "things don't look very good." "What? Why? I thought we were going to win this. What about that defense you mounted?" "It has fallen flat I'm afraid. He has built a strong case against you. You have been accused of a drinking problem, carelessness and suicidal tendencies." "I don't have a drinking problem", I yelled into the receiver, "He has built his case on such quicksand and yet he is winning. How on earth is he doing this?" "He has got contacts, a lot of influence with strong people. You should've been prepared for this. You've been his wife for 12 years now. We both know that he can stoop to any level". "I don't care what becomes of him. I want my daughter. Do you understand me?" "I am trying my best ma'am" "Well, try harder", said I pleadingly as I hung up and burst into tears. The past one year had been extremely rough on me. I had caught my husband red handed in a compromising position with his secretary. I confronted him and we had a heated argument during which I flung a remote at him. Soon after he filed for divorce on the grounds of 'violent and incorrigible behavior' Soon after the bitter divorce the custody battle ensued. My ex husband had cunningly built a case against me. He gathered a few videos of me at a friends bachelorette party where I was in a drunken state. The 'flinging of the remote' incident was stretched to inconceivable limits thus throwing light on my 'brash', 'unruly' and 'dangerous' behavior. His lawyer said with serious conviction,"This woman can be very unpredictable. What if the daughter doesn't fare too well in her exams? Why, she may throw a remote on her as well." My deprivation had caused me to become reclusive. Not only was I losing the custody battle, I was losing friends too. On the morning of 29th June, it was curtains down to the battle of the ex spouse's. My ex husband won custody of our only child and I was allowed a weekly visit provided I wasn't too 'intoxicated'. This verdict had destroyed me completely. I would brood for hours, days, weeks, Mull over everything and wallow in self pity. I had been completely neglecting my work at office, dodging their calls, ignoring their emails and refusing to reply to the bulk of threatening voice mail. Eventually they grew fed up of me and my services were terminated. To be fair to them I was being a lousy employee. On my birthday the only person who called to wish me was my mother and she said in a quick undertone,"Happy birthday dear. You there? Hello? No? Bye" Climbing up the ladder is a step by step process. It takes time, effort and faith. Descending the ladder on the other hand is much easier. It's just a fall. It's a quick fall, followed by a loud thud as one hits rock bottom. I had hit rock bottom, And how! I had no job to sustain me, no friends to talk to. I had driven them away with my hapless behavior. My daughter had begun to grow distant and then came the news that my ex husband was all set to marry for the second time. It was on the evening of 6th September that I took a decision. I over viewed all my assets. Called up my lawyer and got him to make me a will. Not once did he ask me why I was doing what I was doing. I willed everything to my parents and my treasured collection of books to the church. I called up my mother after months of bring silent and then I rang up a few friends. Everyone spoke with me cheerfully. They told me in great detail about their lives, their routines, their children and their happiness. I listened patiently but never did I betray my helplessness. On the 22nd of September, I decided to make one last visit to the church. I had put everything in place. My will was prepared, my belongings were stacked into cartons giving directions as to what was to be done with my possessions. My suicide note was ready and tucked away beneath my pillow. It was nearing 5.30am when I began to see the silhouette of the approaching church. To my disappointment the church was closed. I decided to make my way to the adjoining chapel. After slowly climbing 72 stairs I reached the chapel which was closed too. I began to laugh. A hollow, murderous laugh. "Don't want to see me god? You've been ignoring me for a while now. Busy with other things? Busy making deceitful people rich? Busy sneering at people who bring their small problems to you? I know, I know, I haven't been a nice person. The idealistic good human being. No, no I've been a bad girl. But guess what god? You've not been an idealistic god either. Is it fun playing deaf? You've been ignoring my calls god. Busy watching over the war torn areas I suppose. Better Chanel it is, isn't it? Melodrama is at its peak" The chapel door was wrenched open from within and an old man peered at me. His appearance startled me because I was absorbed in my dramatic ranting. "I've been busy trying to unlatch the door actually", he said "what?", I blurred out "I'm just Five minutes late you know. The chapel doors open at 5.30am. I know, I'm late but I had to cook for my children. My wife's bedridden. Poor soul, she can't move much. Here I've opened the door. Please don't yell next time. If the priests would've heard you they would have sacked me for being late. This is my only source if income." I was at a complete loss. "Who are you?", I asked finally My question may have interrupted his string of thoughts because he looked annoyed. "I am the sweeper and cleaner of this chapel. My duties include opening the chapel door at 5.30am,wiping the pews, trimming the bushes in the front yard and dusting the alter." I just looked on and didn't say a word. "oh go ahead. Think what you like, I'm not a robber. I may look like one but I'm not", said he haughtily "I didn't think you were" "I wasn't always a sweeper," he said defensively ,"I owned 8 acres of land in Deuspur district. Leased it to get my daughter married. Later my land was compulsorily acquired by the government to build one of them dam projects. The money I received from the government for the land was snatched by the money lender. I relocated to Mumbai. Had to sell my kidney to gather money to rent a house in a nearby slum. My wife suffered severely in a bus accident and was rendered paralyzed waist down. I keep the wolf from the door by working here and that's how I'm feeding my children. You may think lowly of me but one cannot dodge bad fate. Good times will come too, they always do. It's always dark before Dawn. Good days will come and when they do I won't have to wake at this unearthly hour and open the chapel door for screaming and impatient folk". With that he gave me a solemn nod and walked off. I knelt on the church stairs. I had got my answer. Thereafter my life changed because my outlook had changed. Self pity had been dragging me down. Self pity had no place in my life anymore. I began picking up the pieces of my broken life and piecing them together. It wasn't easy. I got back onto the job market. Started teaching young students French, began to re learn the violin and with time my social circle expanded. After two long years my deplorable suicidal self was nothing more than a ghost of the past. On Sept 30th,2012 I was all set to get married again. On the 22nd, 8 days prior to my wedding day I made my way to the chapel to meet the sweeper who had made me see perspective unknowingly. The chapel doors were closed and there wasn't any sign of movement until 6am when an elderly priest threw open the doors. He was mildly taken aback to see me. "up so early?" he asked "I need to talk to the sweeper. Where is he? Has he been dismissed?" "sweeper? What sweeper?" "the man who cleans the pews, dusts the alter, trims the churchyard bushes and opens the chapel doors at 5.30 am. I met him here 2 years ago and some things he said changed my life." The priest looked surprised,"I have been opening these chapel doors since 5 years every morning. The alter boys dust the pews. I am in charge of cleaning the alter and we do not have any bushes in the churchyard", said he pointing to the yard. I followed his gaze and realised he was right. How did that escape me? "dear girl, we do not have a sweeper. Have you been drinking?" I ignored the question and removed my smart phone. I went onto the search engine and typed 'deuspur' And the result was 'no matches found' I stepped back in shock. Slowly as it dawned on me I fell to my knees and cried on the stairs of the chapel. Who was the churchyard sweeper?