Whose wine is it, anyway?

After a string of my relationships didn't work, And I had dated jerk after jerk, I realized something was terribly amiss, With the men I was choosing to date and kiss. So I decided that my standards had to be revised, And a grand dating checklist had to be devised, I wouldn't be superfluous about this list, Instead I'd cover points that I had hitherto missed. I will not date a man who is already dating, and for whose commitment I'm kept waiting. I will not date a man who is involved with his ex, Who turns to her for sympathy & sometimes sex. I will not date a man who is constantly lying, Where trust has diminished and is almost dying. I will not date a man who has been a criminal, Even if the offense was small and the sentence minimal. I will not date a man with a violent streak, Who's ability to control his anger is very weak. I will not date a man with no career aim, Who thinks having a physique is cool but a job is lame. I will not ...

It was quarter past seven and my date was late. I grew anxious; would he not show up? The waiter hovered around my table. "Your order, ma'am?" he asked me for the third time. "Il have tea and butter cookies", said I That got rid of him,  temporarily . I checked my watch, it was nearly half past seven. I concluded that my date had been hit by a bus. I decided to violate my code of womanly indifference and give him a call. It rang several times with no positive outcome. My date had been hit by a bus and the impact had dislodged his phone from his grip,  undoubtedly . My phone grunted, I received a text message. It was from my date. "Stuck at work, won't make it, sorry". I sighed. I didn't know him well, so my heart didn't shatter all over the coffee shop floor. Neither did the song "I will survive" play in my head. I was all right, a little let down that's all. I decided to treat myself to the tea and cookies. My mind w...